Body language -
The head can send such a wide range of signals that the face and
other parts of the head are covered in other pages. Here, we focus just on
movement of the head as affected by the neck muscles.
Lowering
A lowered head covers the neck with the chin and hence can be a
defensive posture that can occur as a result of any perceived threat (not just
physical threat).
Lowering the head also lowers the eyes and hence can be a sign of
submission, effectively saying 'I dare not even look at you'. The eyes are
typically also lowered here. It can be driven by affection ('you are so
wonderful') or fear ('you might hurt me if I look at you').
Lowering the head whilst maintaining eye contact can also be a
strong flirting signal, typically by women. It says 'You are superior and I
just can't take my eyes off you'. It can also be a sign of defiance or caution,
for example when showing respect to an enemy ('You are strong and I do not
trust you').
Sometimes, lowering the head is just a sign of exhaustion. The
head is rather heavy and a tired person's head will sag.
Lowering the head can be a part of ducking as the person
reflexively pulls the head down to avoid a real or imagined hazard. This makes
the body smaller and protects the neck.
A single short lowering of the head can be an abbreviated nod.
This is a common greeting, perhaps as a small bow. It may also be a signal of
power ('I am so powerful people are paying will notice even a small nod').
Again it may be a deliberate concealment, sending covert agreement to a
colleague.
Raising
When the head is low, raising it may be a sign of interest as the
person moved to looking at the point of interest. This is typically accompanied
by other expressions of interest such as raised eyebrows.
From a level position, a quick flick upwards can be a sign of
query ('What do you mean?').
Raising the head and looking at the ceiling may signal boredom. It
may also indicate a visual thinker who is looking at internal images. Another
alternative is where a person wants to focus on the sound and is thus averting
the eyes in order to concentrate on the sound.
Tilting
Tilting the head sideways can be a sign of interest, which may be
in what is said or happening. It can also be a flirting signal as it says 'I am
interested in you!'
Tilting can similarly indicate curiosity, uncertainty or query,
particularly if the head is pushed forward, as if the person was trying to look
at the subject in a different way in the hope of seeing something new. The
greater the tilt, the greater the uncertainty or the greater the intent to send
this signal.
A tilted head pulled back tends to indicate suspicion, as the
uncertainty of the tilt is combined with a defensive pulling back.
The tilted head exposes the carotid artery on the side of the neck
and may be a sign of submission and feelings of vulnerability.
If the head is propped up by the hand, it may be tiredness or an
expectation of continued interest ('This is so interesting!').
Oscillating (nodding and
shaking)
Nodding up and down signals agreement in most cultures and may
well be accompanied by smiling and other signs of approval. A vigorous nodding
probably indicates strong agreement, whilst slow nodding may indicate
conditional agreement (and so may be questioned if you want full agreement).
Turning the head from side to side usually indicates disagreement
or disapproval and may originate in infant refusal of food. Again, speed of
swinging indicates strength of feeling. A head tilted down whilst swinging may
signal particular disapproval ('I don't even want to look at you').
Alternately tilting the head at an angle to each side can say 'I'm
not sure', though in Southern India it means 'Yes'.
Nodding or shaking the head whilst talking is an encouragement for
the other person to agree (which works surprisingly often).
Nodding whilst the other person is talking sends approval signals
and encourages them to keep talking. Shaking the head shows disagreement and
they may either stop and seek your view or redouble their attempts to persuade
you.
A nod can be used when emphasizing a point. The may range from a
subtle encouragement to agree to a rapid and aggressive tilt.
A short, sharp nod can symbolize a head-butt, indicating the
desire to strike the other person (this may be in emphasis or for other
reasons).
Shaking the head when saying something positive is a negative
signal and may indicate the person does not believe what they are saying.
Head movement is also related to status. Higher status people move
their heads less. Lower status people often move their head far more.
Rotating
Rotation of the head in a circle is a relatively rare gesture and
may just be the person exercising a stiff neck (if they should be paying
attention, this may thus indicate boredom).
Turning the head away removes attention and thus may say 'I do not
want to communicate with you'. This can be very insulting as it denies the
existence of the other person.
Turning the head slightly to the side points the ear at the other
person, perhaps better to hear them. This is usually accompanied by continued
eye contact and the hand may be cupped behind the ear.
A slight head turn also puts one eye in the middle of your head as
the other person sees it. To make eye contact they thus have to focus on one
eye. This can be very disconcerting and this 'one-eye' gaze may be used as an
act of dominance (It may also be used in the act of 'giving the evil eye').
A slight rotation on top of oscillation may indicate incomplete
agreement or disagreement, for example where a nod has a slight additional
side-to-side movement, indicating primary or external agreement but with a
certain amount of disagreement too (which may be significant if they feel
coerced into agreement).
Pointer
We tend to point at people and things in which we are interested
in some way. Pointing the head and face at another person shows interest in
them.
In groups and meetings, you can often see power people as others
often look at them. Likewise, the less significant people are not looked at
often.
We can also point with a twitch of the head in any given
direction. Pointing at a person in this way without looking can be insulting
and can be subtle, for example where you do not want the indicated person is
being pointed at.
Touching
We can touch the head in many places. Touching the face is a
common sign of anxiety and people tend to have preferred places they touch or
stroke when they are concerned. This is a classic pattern that poker players
look for in other players as signs of having good or bad hands.
Covering eyes, ears or mouth may say we do not want to see, hear
or say something.
We may touch the side of the nose or stroke the chin when we are
thinking, making decisions and judging others.
Tapping the head can be self-punishment and hence signal regret,
for example tapping the forehead with the heel of the hand ('I'm stupid!').
Note that, depending on context, this can also be a signal that somebody else
is considered stupid.
The head is heavy and when tired we may prop it up, either under
the chin or at the side. Boredom makes us tired so propping the head may
indicate this. Propping up the head also happens when a person is thinking or
evaluating.
In some cultures, the head is considered the part of the body that
is most spiritual. Touching the head can be considered wrong in such contexts.
Unmoving
The head often moves during speaking and often to signal
submission or anxiety. When it does not move, it may indicate that the person
is serious or talking from a position of authority. With a stable head, it is
easier to fix others with a dominant gaze. This is a quite significant effect
that actors often use. Just holding your head steady can lead to others
affording you higher status.
When the head is not moving and the eyes are not focused the
person may not be attending outer world, instead being lost in inner thoughts
and musings.
Face body language
The face has around 90 muscles in it, with about 30 of these
purely for expressing emotion. It can thus be used to send many non-verbal
signals, using its various features in concert.
Color
Red
A generally red face may indicate that the person is hot as the
blood come to the to surface to be cooled. They may heat up either from
exercise or emotional arousal, for example when they are excited and energized.
A red face is typical of a person who is angry. This is a clear
danger signal, warning the other person that they may be harmed if they do not
back down.
People blush with embarrassment in various ways. Some people's
neck goes red. With others it is mostly the cheeks. Sometimes the whole face
goes red.
White
White skin may be a sign of coldness as the blood goes deep to
avoid cooling further.
White skin is also an indication of fear, often extreme. This
happens as the blood abandons a surface that might be cut, going to muscles
where its power is needed more.
Blue
The skin can also take on a bluish tinge. This can also indicate
coldness or extreme fear.
Moisture
Sweating is the body's natural cooling mechanism when it gets hot,
possibly from excitement and emotional arousal.
Sweat is also associated with fear, perhaps to make the skin
slippery and hence prevent an opponent from taking a firm grasp.
Emotions
Here are some of the facial signals that you might see for
different emotions. Do note that these are only possible indicators: not all
signals are needed and not all signals indicated here necessarily indicate the
associated emotion.
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Emotion
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Facial
signals
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Anxiety
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Fear
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Anger
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Happiness
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Sadness
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Envy
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Desire
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Interest
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Boredom
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Surprise
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Relief
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Disgust
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Shame
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Pity
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Calm
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Cheek body language
Cheeks can speak body language, although admittedly not very much.
In-out
Cheeks can be drawn in or blown out. When pulled in and
particularly when linked with pursed lips, it indicates disapproval.
Cheeks sucked in to the extent that the lower lips curl can
indicate pensiveness which may be uncomfortable (look also for a furrowed
brow).
When cheeks are blown out, this can signify uncertainty as to what
to do next (watch also for raised eyebrows and rounded eyes). This may be
exaggerated by the person actually blowing air from their mouth ('Pfoof - what
do I do now??').
Blown out cheeks can also be a sign of exhaustion. If the person
has been exercising the face may also be red and sweaty.
Redness
Red cheeks is a classic sign of embarrassment. Watch for them
becoming red (some people just have natural red cheeks). Red cheeks may also be
a sign of anger. Watch here for other anger signs, such as enlarged and staring
eyes.
Cheeks pale when blood drains from them. This typically happens
when a person is frightened as the blood is moved to the muscles in readiness
to flee. Pale cheeks can also be a sign of coldness.
Internal
Chewing the inside of the cheek or mouth can be a hidden sign of
nervousness and may indicate lying.
Pushing the tongue into the cheek can show pensiveness as the
person thinks about something and tries to come to a decision.
Touching
The cheek is a wide area that can be touched without obscuring any
of the functional organs. Touching the cheek is often done in surprise or
horror. A light touch, along with an open mouth that says 'Oooh' indicate light surprise.
Touching both cheeks with the flat of the palm is an exaggeration of this and
may indicate horror.
Chin body language
The chin, as with other corners of the face, has its own body
language.
Protecting
The chin is vulnerable when fists are flying as a good upper-cut
punch can knock you out. Even more vulnerable than the chin is the throat,
where a predator might try to asphyxiate you or worse. Holding in the chin
protects both it and the throat, and hence is a naturally defensive move that
people use when they feel threatened.
Holding the chin in also lowers the head, which is a submissive
gesture. This is distinct from the defensive move as the head tilts down more
and the eyes are often largely downcast. This can similarly be a shy or
flirting gesture.
Jutting
The chin can be used as a subtle pointing device and a small flick
of the head may give a small signal that only people in the know are likely to
notice.
Jutting out the chin towards a person exposes it and says 'Go on,
I dare you, try to hit me and see what happens!' This can thus be a signal of
defiance, if not towards the other person then instead towards some situation
or person in the conversation.
Jutting may also exposes the teeth and is a thus a threat to bite
which may be added to an aggressive display.
Pointing at a person with the finger is a threatening act. Doing
it briefly with the chin is more covert and can thus be an insult.
Touching
Stroking the chin is often a signal that the person is thinking
hard. They may well be judging or evaluating something, particularly if the
conversation has offered them a choice or decision to make.
The head is a heavy object and is often propped up by holding the
chin in a cupped hand, particularly when the person is tired and it may drop.
Boredom can make you sleepy and a hand under the chin may be done to stop an
embarrassing drop of the head.
Holding the chin also prevents the head from moving and can signal
that the person wants to send a head
signal but
simultaneously does not want to send the signal, for example when they
emotionally agree and want to nod, but intellectually want more information so
they can have good reason before they say yes.
Beard
Beards and moustaches are sometimes controversial items,
particularly in cultures where being clean-shaven is the norm. A beard may thus
be an indicator of a non-conformist.
A full beard is more likely to indicate a person who has no vanity
needs and is confident and relaxed as they are. When the beard is shaped and
neatly clipped, it may indicate a more vain and fussy person who is particular
about how they appear and what they do.
An unkempt beard that is left to grow wild may indicate an untidy
mind or simply that the person is lazy. It may also point to a person for whom
external appearance is unimportant, such as a university intellectual.
Stroking a beard can be a preening gesture, symbolically making
oneself look beautiful and hence sending 'I'm gorgeous' signals.
Mouth body language
Generally speaking body orifices are not terribly desirable as
they can cause problems such as being entries for disease or can be snagged on
passing bushes. The mouth is perhaps the ultimate multi-function orifice as we
use it for communicating, breathing and eating.
Emoting
The mouth is involved in the expression
of many different emotions, from happiness to sadness, from fear to
disgust. In emoting, the lips play a major role in creating visible
shapes, with able backup from the teeth and tongue.
Breathing
We usually breath through the nose, but when we need more oxygen
we use the mouth to gulp in greater amounts of air.
A person who is frightened or angry by the fight-or-flight
reaction may
well open their mouth to get more oxygen in preparation for combat or running
away. This may also involve breathing faster (panting).
A hot person also pants hard. With typical the red face, this can
be mistaken for anger (or vice versa).
Yawning is a process of taking a deep gulp of air as a quick
'pick-me-up' and often indicate a person who is tired or bored.
A short, deep, exhaling sigh, can indicate sadness, frustration or
boredom.
Short inhalation, particularly in a sequence, can be like silent
sobs and hence be an indicator of deep and suppressed sadness.
Slow, deep breathing, sometimes with slightly parted lips, may
indicate someone who is relaxing or meditating. With closed eyes, they are
seldom aware of what is going on around them and this may be done as an escape.
Speaking
The mouth sends additional signals when it is speaking.
If the mouth moves little, perhaps including incoherent mumbling, this
may indicate an unwillingness to speak, for example from shyness or from a fear
of betraying themselves.
A mouth that moves a lot during speech can indicate excitement or
dominance as it sends clear signals that 'I am speaking, do not interrupt!'
Careful shaping of words can also indicate a person with auditory
preferences or a concern for precision and neatness.
Fast speakers are often visual thinkers who are trying to get out
what they are seeing. They may also be looking upwards.
Slow speakers may be deep thinkers who are being careful about
finding the right words. They may also have an auditory preference as they
carefully enunciate each word.
Eating
The mouth is also used for eating, and the way people eat can tell
things about them.
A well-mannered person opens their mouth the minimum to put in a
moderate amount of food and keeps it closed whilst carefully chewing each
mouthful. They also do not speak when they have food in their mouth.
On the other hand, an uncouth person gobbles large mouthfuls and
opens their mouth as they chew and talk at the same time.
In a curious reversal, snobbish gourmands who take great pleasure
in eating may do it noisily as an expression of pleasure. This may also be a
cultural variable and in some places noisy eating is not only acceptable but
also desirable.
People who chew smaller amounts at the front of their mouth are
like children whose molars have not developed and may be timid.
People who chew for a longer time may be chewing on ideas at the
same time.
When people slide their jaw sideways when they eat are grinding
the food. this may also be pensive.
Drinking
As with eating, drinking may be done in a polite way, sipping
smaller amounts and swallowing noiselessly. It may also be done with loud
glugging and followed by equally distasteful burping -- although again, in some
cultures this is a desirable expression of pleasure.
Someone who is slooshing their drink around their mouth may well
be thinking and deciding.
Covering
Sometimes the hand is used to cover the mouth. In polite society,
exposing the inside of your mouth may be considered rude, so the hand is used
to politely cover a yawn.
The hand is also used to conceal the mouth when it will betray
emotions that may be undesirable. Thus we put our hands over impolite giggles
and smirks, and we may do this to hold back from telling the truth.
Covering the mouth may also be a reason for hiding a yawn. We also
cover the open mouth of surprise and the downturned mouth of sadness.
Smiling
Smiling indicates pleasure, either that you are
generally happy and are enjoying the other person's company or that you are
amused by something in particular, such as a joke.
A full smile engages the whole face, particularly including the
eyes, which crease and 'twinkle'. A true smile is also known as the Duchenne
smile, after the scientists who first described it in 1862. False smiles also
tend to last for longer.
Smiling with lips only is often falsehood, where the smiler wants
to convey pleasure or approval but is actually feeling something else.
A genuine smile is often asymmetric and usually larger on the
right side of the face. A false smile may be more symmetrical or larger on the
left side of the face.
Lowering the jaw to show a D-shaped mouth can be a false smile as
it is easy to do. It may also be a deliberate signal of amusement and and an
invitation to laugh.
Smiling without opening the mouth, and particularly with lips
firmly pressed together, may indicate embarrassment about unsightly teeth. It
may also be a suppression of words ('I can see the funny side, but I'm not
going to comment.').
A half-smile, on one side of the face, may indicate cynicism,
sarcasm or uncertainty ('Sorry, I don't buy that idea.').
Smiling is also a sign of submission as the person effectively
says 'I am nice and not a threat'.
Smiling in some cultures indicates a question or that you want the
other person to speak.
Laughing
Beyond smiling, laughter shows greater pleasure and happiness.
Whilst smiling may happen over a longer period, laughter is a relatively brief
affair, happening for a few seconds.
There are many variants on laughter and we all laugh differently, from
the suppressed titter to the loud and uproarious belly-laugh. Louder and less
suppressed laughter may indicate someone who is less self-conscious. It may
also be used by a person who is trying to gain attention.
In general, women laugh at men they like whilst men like women who
laugh at them ('It's working! She likes me.'). This can lead to a satisfying
bonding mechanism.
'Funny' often gets equated to 'nice' and 'harmless' and the use of
humor thus can a way of sending friendship signals. Laughing at risqué jokes is
a sign of acceptance of the other person (the alternative is to criticize or
otherwise censure them).
Laughing and smiling at the misfortune of others is often socially
unacceptable although we often find this funny (Germans call this 'schadenfreude').
In such cases you may see suppressed grins and giggles as the person tries
desperately to hide their feeling of amusement. Laughs, for example may get
disguised as coughs and the person may turn away to hide their expression.
Yawning
Yawning is opening the mouth wide and gulping in a large quantity
of air. We do it when we are tired and blood oxygen is low.
Boredom can indicated by yawning, signalling that the other person
is so uninteresting they are sending us to sleep, which makes it often impolite
(also because it shows the inside of the body). This results often in the yawn
being covered with the hand or concealed such as by turning the head or holding
the mouth more closed than it actually want to be.
The gulping of air in yawning can also be in preparation for
action and a stressed person may yawn more, or at least take some bigger
breaths.
Sucking or biting
Sucking a finger is often an echo of doing this in childhood.
Young children suck fingers or thumb as a breast substitute. This action is
hence a comforter, done when the person is uncomfortable or stressed in some
way. This can happen in general anxiety or specific situations such as when
lying.
Variants on this include sucking or biting knuckles, the side of a
hand or other parts of the body such as the lips or inner cheek. Sometimes a
physical item is used as a substitute, such as a pen or pencil. Biting
generally indicates greater stress than sucking.
Lips body language
Lips can say a lot of things without words. Our muscles around them
mean we can shape them with incredibly fine control. Lipstick is used to draw
attention to the lips, thus exaggerating further the signals sent by them.
Parted
Lips which are slightly parted can be a strong flirting signal,
particularly if the lips are then licked and even more so if done whilst
holding the gaze of another person.
Parting lips is the first stage in speaking and may thus be a
signal that the person wants to talk.
Pursed
Lips which are pulled inwards from all directions are an
indication of tension and may indicate frustration or disapproval.
Pursed lips are a classic sign of anger, including when it is
suppressed. It is effectively holding the mouth shut to prevent the person
saying what they feel like saying. This may also be an indication of lying or
withholding the truth as the person stops themselves from telling the truth.
Puckered
A light puckering of the lips into a kiss shape typically
indicates desire. It can also indicate uncertainty, particularly if the lips
are touched with the fingers.
When you say 'oo', the lips form the kiss shape. This is one
reason that romantic songs often linger on words like 'you' and 'too'.
Flattened
Lips which are kept horizontal but squeezed flat are an
exaggerated closing of the mouth and hence indicate a repressed desire to
speak. This indicate disapproval ('If I spoke I would be very critical, which I
do not want to be'). It can also indicate frustration ('I want to speak, but
others are speaking and I feel I should wait').
Flattened lips can also indicate a refusal to eat, either because
of dislike of offered food or some other motivation.
Turned up
When the corners of the mouth are turned upwards, this can be a
grimace of disgust or a smile of pleasure. In a grimace, the teeth are unlikely
to be shown (although toothless smiles are also common). Grimaces are often
flatter and tenser.
A full smile engages the whole face, particularly including
the eyes. Smiling with lips only is often falsehood, where the smiler wants to
convey pleasure or approval but is actually feeling something else.
Turned down
Corners of the mouth turned down indicates sadness or displeasure.
Some people are so miserable so often, this is the natural state
of rest of their mouths (which is perhaps rather sad).
Retracted
When the lips are pulled back, they expose the teeth. This may be
in a broad smile or it may be a snarl of aggression. The eyes should tell you
which is which. In a snarl, the eyes are either narrowed or staring. In a full
smile, the corners of the eyes are creased.
Moving
Lips which are moving in the shape of words but without making
sounds means that the person is thinking of saying the words. This subvocalization
often happens with very small movement and is often completely subconscious.
Stage mentalists use this when they ask their 'victims' to think hard of a word
and then lip-read as they silently sound the word.
Up and down movement may indicate chewing. Some people chew the
insides of their mouths when they are nervous.
Rolling in the lips so they roll across one another can be a
preening gesture for women, evening out lipstick. It can also be a sign of
uncertainty or disapproval (look for accompanying lowered eyebrows).
Twitching
Small, lightning-fast movements of the mouth betray inner
thoughts, for example a single twitch of the corner of the mouth that indicates
cynicism or disbelief.
Liars in particular will often give themselves away with very
brief grimaces as their conscience expresses disapproval of the conscious lies.
Protruding
When the top lip is over the bottom lip, this may be linked with
biting of the bottom lip, a common indicator that the person is feeling guilty
about something.
The bottom lip extended over the top lip can indicate uncertainty,
as if the person is saying 'umm'.
The bottom lip jutting out is often a part of a sulky pout, where
the person expresses child-like petulance at not getting their own way.
Both lips pressed together and pushed out generally indicates
doubt. If the finger touches them, it may indicate internal thinking or may say
'I am considering speaking but am not quite ready to talk yet'.
Biting
Biting the lip, centrally or at the side, is often a sign of anxiety.
Usually, this is the bottom lip (especially if the person has overhanging top
teeth). This may be a habitual action and people who do this, will often repeat
the move in predictable situations. It can also be an indicator for stress
during lying.
This is a fairly child-like action, especially if accompanied by
wide eyes and eyebrows raised in the middle and lowered at the sides, and thus
may betray concern about being told off or otherwise being censured in the
manner of a child.
Relaxed
Finally, the lips will have a position of rest when they are not
pulled in any direction. This usually indicates that the person is also feeling
relaxed.
Teeth body language
There's not a lot of body language with teeth, but this is a
complete section, so here's details.
Biting
Teeth are made to bite, tear and grind. Exposing the teeth in a
snarl is saying 'I am thinking of biting you' and is hence a primitive and
potentially scary threat.
Actual biting is rare, but indicates the person has been reduced
to a base position and is probably not thinking rationally.
Biting can also be affectionate, for example where lovers chew the
other person's lip or ear. This can create arousal from the basic fear instinct
but the person knows from the context that they are not in danger and hence reframes the arousal as pleasure. Gentle biting also
stimulates nerve receptors and is thus similar to touch.
Young animals at play pretend to bite one another as they prepare
for adulthood. When people play with friends they may also expose their teeth.
Smiling
Exposing the teeth in smiling tends to indicate extreme pleasure.
People who are self-conscious and particularly if their teeth are not that
attractive may try not to show their teeth when smiling.
Noise
Teeth can make a noise when banged or slid together. Chattering
teeth may indicate extreme fear and is usually accompanied by shaking of the
body. This may also indicate extreme coldness.
Grinding teeth can indicate suppressed anger or frustration as the
person tensely tries not to speak.
Light tapping of the teeth can be mild frustration or thinking (it
is similar in effect to tapping of a finger).
As with other repetitive action, teeth noise can also just be
habit.
Tapping
Sometimes people tap their teeth with their nails, making a noise
that echoes in the mouth. This can signal thinking or boredom. It may also be a
deliberate interruption or irritant, although this is less likely.
Tongue body language
The tongue is normally important in spoken body language. In
practice it can also send some body language non-verbal signals.
Sticking out
A deliberate gesture of sticking out the tongue at a person is
impolite, although considered rather childish and thus reflects as much on the
person doing it. The gesture thus appears petulant unless it is done in an
amusingly cheeky way. The rest of the face should indicate more of the intent.
Cheeky tongue-poking is often followed by a smile or laughter.
Sticking out the tongue also can happen when the person is trying
hard to do something. When this happens it traditionally appears at the side of
the mouth.
When people are talking in romantic setting, sticking out the
tongue can be a sign of lust.
Licking
The tongue can be used to lick. By oneself, pretty much the only
thing the tongue can lick is the lips (although a more hidden way of this is
licking the teeth).
Lip-licking may indicate desire, perhaps for another person and
perhaps for food. Usually it is for what is in front of the licker.
As a deliberate signal to others it can be sexually enticing,
saying 'I would like to like you'. As such, it can be very arousing,
particularly when done slowly and with other flirting signals such as a
slightly lowered head and steady gaze.
Licking another person can be extremely arousing and is typically
done either as a part of foreplay or as a quick tease.
Biting it
Biting the tongue typically indicates that the biter wants to say
something but somehow feels unable or unwilling to say what they want, perhaps
for fear of offending or breaking social rules.
Inside the mouth
With mouth closed and tongue inside the mouth, you can still
sometimes see what it is doing. Pressed against the cheek it can indicate
thinking and uncertainty. Pushed in front of the teeth, pushing out the lips,
can also indicate uncertainty.
Nose body language
The nose, which is right in the middle of the face, can send a
certain amount of body language.
Flared
When the nostrils are widened it allows more air to be breathed in
and out and readies the person for combat. In a related sense, this can
indicate the person is experiencing extreme displeasure.
Flared nostrils may also indicate that the person is making an
internal judgment about something.
Wrinkled
The nose can be wrinkled by pushing up from the mouth. This
happens when a bad smell is detected. It can also appear with a metaphoric bad smell is thought about, for example
when somebody else suggests a distasteful idea (see: even language uses
bad-taste metaphor!). Another variation is when the person is thinking about
something but is not satisfied with their own ideas.
Sniffing
Aside from when a person has a cold, sniffing can indicate
displeasure or disgust. This may also happen on one side, with the mouth
twitching up as well.
Touching it
Touching the nose can indicate that the person has detected a bad
smell. It is also common signal from a person who is not telling the truth.
When a person lies, blood vessels in their nose may dilate, making
the nose swell or appear redder. The nasal engorgement then causes mast cells
to release histamine, which makes the nose itch and so may lead to the person
touching or scratching it (this is probably the basis of the Pinocchio story).
Rubbing the finger alongside the nose can indicate disagreement.
It may also be a semi-suppressed nose-scratch related to lying.
Pinching the bridge of the nose can show the person is evaluating
something, usually negatively and with some frustration.
Fiddling with the nose or pressing it down can just be a habit
when the person is thinking.
Eyes Body language
The eyes are often called, with some justification, 'the windows
of the soul' as they can send many different non-verbal signals.
For reading body language this is quite useful as looking at
people's eyes are a normal part of communication (whilst gazing at other parts
of the body can be seen as rather rude).
Looking up
When a person looks upwards they are often thinking. In particular
they are probably making pictures in their head and thus may well be an
indicator of a visual thinker.
When they are delivering a speech or presentation, looking up may
be their recalling their prepared words.
Looking upwards and to the left can indicate recalling a memory.
Looking upwards and the right can indicate imaginative construction of a
picture (which can hence betray a liar). Be careful with this: sometimes the
directions are reversed -- if in doubt, test the person by asking them to
recall known facts or imagine something.
Looking up may also be a signal of boredom as the person examines
the surroundings in search of something more interesting.
Head lowered and eyes looking back up at the other person is a coy
and suggestive action as it combines the head down of submission with eye
contact of attraction. It can also be judgemental, especially when combined
with a frown.
Looking down
Looking at a person can be an act of power and domination. Looking
down involves not looking at the other person, which hence may be a sign of
submission ('I am not a threat, really; please do not hurt me. You are so
glorious I would be dazzled if I looked at you.')
Looking down can thus be a signal of submission. It can also
indicate that the person is feeling guilty.
A notable way that a lower person looks down at a higher person is
by tilting their head back. Even taller people may do this.
Looking down and to the left can indicate that they are talking to
themselves (look for slight movement of the lips). Looking down and to the
right can indicate that they are attending to internal emotions.
In many cultures where eye contact is a rude or dominant signal,
people will look down when talking with others in order to show respect.
Looking sideways
Much of our field of vision is in the horizontal plane, so when a
person looks sideways, they are either looking away from what is in front of
them or looking towards something that has taken their interest.
A quick glance sideways can just be checking the source of a
distraction to assess for threat or interest. It can also be done to show
irritation ('I didn't appreciate that comment!').
Looking to the left can indicate a person recalling a sound. Looking
to the right can indicate that they are imagining the sound. As with visual and
other movements, this can be reversed and may need checking against known truth
and fabrication.
Lateral
movement
Eyes moving from side-to-side can indicate shiftiness and lying,
as if the person is looking for an escape route in case they are found out.
Lateral movement can also happen when the person is being
conspiratorial, as if they are checking that nobody else is listening.
Eyes may also move back and forth sideways (and sometimes up and
down) when the person is visualizing a big picture and is literally looking it
over.
Gazing
Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a
painting, a table or a person. When you look at something, then others who look
at your eyes will feel compelled to follow your gaze to see what you are
looking at. This is a remarkable skill as we are able to follow a gaze very
accurately.
When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye
level or above (see eye contact,
below). The gaze can also be a defocused looking at the general person.
Looking at a person's mouth can indicate that you would like to
kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicates a desire to have sexual
relations with them.
Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up,
either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze
lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed
dominance, as the person effectively says 'I am more powerful than you, your
feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze'.
Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest.
This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is 'inside their
head' thinking about other things.
It is difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at
identifying exactly where other people are looking. This is one reason why we
have larger eye whites than animals, as it aids complex communication.
The acceptable duration of a gaze varies with culture and
sometimes even a slight glance is unacceptable, such as between genders or by a
lower status person.
Glancing
Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for
example glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave.
Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk with them. It
can also indicate a concern for that person's feeling when something is said
that might upset them.
Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone
where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period.
Glancing sideways at a person with raised eyebrows can be a sign
of attraction. Without the raised eyebrow it is more likely to be disapproval.
Eye contact
Eye contact between two people is a powerful act of communication
and may show interest, affection or dominance.
Doe eyes
A softening of the eyes, with relaxing of muscles around the eye
and a slight defocusing as the person tries to take in the whole person is
sometimes called doe
eyes, as it often indicates sexual desire, particularly if the gaze is
prolonged and the pupils are dilated (see below). The
eyes may also appear shiny.
Making eye
contact
Looking at a person acknowledges them and shows that you are
interested in them, particularly if you look in their eyes.
Looking at a person's eyes also lets you know where they are
looking. We are amazingly good at detecting what they are looking at and can
detect even a brief glance at parts of our body, for example.
If a person says something when you are looking away and then you
make eye contact, then this indicates they have grabbed your attention.
Breaking eye
contact
Prolonged eye contact can be threatening, so in conversation we
frequently look away and back again.
Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just
been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example
that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc.
This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same
internal discomfort. Of course, a break in eye contact can also be caused by
something as simple as dried out contacts or any new stimulus in one's immediate
area, so it's important to watch for other signals.
Looking at a person, breaking eye contact and then looking
immediately back at them is a classic flirting action, particularly with the
head held coyly low in suggested submission.
Long eye
contact
Eye contact longer than normal can have several different
meanings.
Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening,
and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is
saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are
visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they 'see' what
they are talking about.
We also look more at people we like and like people who look at us
more. When done with doe eyes and smiles, it is a sign of attraction. Lovers
will stare into each others eyes for a long period. Attraction is also
indicated by looking back and forth between the two eyes, as if we are
desperately trying to determine if they are interested in us too.
An attraction signal that is more commonly used by women is to
hold the other person's gaze for about three seconds, Then look down for a
second or two and then look back up again (to see if they have taken the bait).
If the other person is still looking at them, they are rewarded with a coy
smile or a slight widening of the eyes ('Yes, this message is for you!').
When done without blinking, contracted pupils and an immobile
face, this can indicate domination, aggression and use of power. In such
circumstances a staring competition can ensue, with the first person to look
away admitting defeat.
Prolonged eye contact can be disconcerting. A trick to reduce
stress from this is to look at the bridge of their nose. They will think you
are still looking in their eyes.
Sometimes liars, knowing that low eye contact is a sign of lying,
will over-compensate and look at you for a longer than usual period. Often this
is done without blinking as they force themselves into this act. They may smile
with the mouth, but not with the eyes as this is more difficult.
Limited eye
contact
When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling
insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected.
In persuasion
Eye contact is very important for persuasion. If you look at the
other person and they do not look back at you, then their attention is likely
elsewhere. Even if they hear you, the lack of eye contact reduces the personal
connection.
If you want to persuade or change minds, then the first step is to
gain eye contact and then sustain it with regular reconnection.
Staring
Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged
attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates
particular interest in something or someone.
Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly
after hearing unexpected news.
When the eyes are defocused, the person's attention may be inside
their head and what they are staring at may be of no significance. (Without
care, this can become quite embarrassing for them).
Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate or deceptive
and is discussed further above. Staring at another's eyes is usually more associated
with aggressive action.
A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal
indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would
like to stare more, but knows it is impolite (this may be accompanied with some
apologetic text).
When a person stares at another, then the second person may be
embarrassed and look away. If they decide to stare back, then the people 'lock
eyes' and this may become a competition with the loser being the person who
looks away first.
The length of an acceptable stare varies across cultures, as does
who is allowed to stare, and at what. Babies and young children stare more,
until they have learned the cultural rules.
Following
The eyes will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person
is looking at something of interest then they will naturally keep looking at
this. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into
a threat.
This is used when sales people move something like a pen or finger
up and down, guiding where the customer looks, including to eye contact and to
parts of the product being sold.
Squinting
Narrowing of a person's eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps
considering that something told to them is not true (or at least not fully so).
It can similarly indicate uncertainty ('I cannot quite see what is
meant here.')
Squinting can also be used by liars who do not want the other
person to detect their deception.
When a person thinks about something and does not want to look at
the internal image, they may involuntarily squint.
Squinting can also happen when lights or the sun are bright.
Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar
meaning. It can also indicate tiredness.
Lowering eyelids whilst still looking at the other person can be a
part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing
back the head and slightly puckering the lips in a kiss.
Blinking
Blinking is a neat natural process whereby the eyelids wipe the
eyes clean, much as a windscreen wiper on a car.
Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more or are
feeling stressed. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep
thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their
eyes open and appear to stare.
Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected
may blink at the same rate. Someone who is listening carefully to you is more
likely to blink when you pause (keeping eyes open to watch everything you say).
Beyond natural random blinking, a single blink can signal surprise
that the person does not quite believe what they see ('I'll wipe my eyes clean
to better see').
Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying
'I am so important, I do not need to see you'.
Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy
romantic invitation.
Reduced blinking increases the power of a stare, whether it is
romantic or dominant in purpose.
Winking
Closing one eye in a wink is a deliberate gesture that often
suggests conspiratorial ('You and I both understand, though others do not').
Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is
reminiscent of a small wave of the hand ('Hello there, gorgeous!').
Closing
Closing the eyes shuts out the world. This can mean 'I do not want
to see what is in front of me, it is so terrible'.
Sometimes when people are talking they close their eyes. This is
an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied
request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored.
Visual thinkers may also close their eyes, sometimes when talking,
so they can better see the internal images without external distraction.
Damp
The tear ducts provide moisture to the eyes, both for washing them
and for tears.
Damp eyes can be suppressed weeping, indicating anxiety, fear or
sadness. It can also indicate that the person has been crying recently.
Dampness can also occur when the person is tired (this may be
accompanied by redness of the eyes.
Tears
Actual tears that roll down the cheeks are often a symptom of
extreme fear or sadness, although paradoxically you can also weep tears of joy.
Weeping can be silent, with little expression other than the tears
(indicating a certain amount of control). It also typically involves screwing
up of the face and, when emotions are extreme, can be accompanied by
uncontrollable, convulsive sobs.
Men in many culture are not expected to cry and learn to suppress
this response, not even being able to cry when alone. Even if their eyes feel
damp they may turn away.
Tears and sadness may be transformed into anger, which may be
direct at whoever is available.
Pupil size
A subtle signal that is sometimes detected only subconsciously and
is seldom realized by the sender is where the pupil gets larger (dilates) or
contracts.
Sexual desire is a common cause of pupil dilation, and is
sometimes called 'bedroom eyes' (magazine pictures sometimes have deliberately
doctored eyes to make a model look more attractive). When another person's eyes
dilate we may be attracted further to them and our eyes dilate in return.
Likewise, when their pupils are small, ours may well contract also.
Pupils dilate also when it is darker to let in more light. Perhaps
this is why clubs, bars, restaurants and other romantic venues are so dingy.
People with dark irises (the colored circle around the pupil) can
look attractive because it is difficult to distinguish the iris from the pupil,
with the effect is that their dark pupils look larger than they are. People
with light irises make the pupils easier to see, so when their pupils actually
do dilate then the signal is clearer to detect, making them more attractive 'at
the right time'.
The reverse of this is that pupils contract when we do not like
the other person, perhaps in an echo of squint-like narrowing of the eyes.
Rubbing
When a person is feeling uncomfortable, the eyes may water a
little. To cover this and try to restore an appropriate dryness, they person
may rub their eye and maybe even feign tiredness or having something in the
eye. This also gives the opportunity to turn the head away.
The rubbing may be with one finger, with a finger and thumb (for
two eyes) or with both hands. The more the coverage, the more the person is
trying to hide behind the hands.
Eyebrow body language
Eyebrows can send body language. Being near the eyes, which are
the major senders of signals, they are highly visible communicators, although
the limited control of muscles around them can limit what they say.
Lowered
Lowering the eyebrows conceals the eyes to a certain degree.
Particularly with a lowered head, this can thus indicate deception or a desire
that eye signals are harder to see.
Lowered eyebrows may also indicate annoyance, perhaps effectively
saying 'I am so displeased, I do not want to look at you.' Related to this,
lowered eyebrows are a sign of a dominant person.
Raised
When a person is surprised, their eyebrows are often raised. This
typically happens as a part of opening the eyes wider, perhaps to see more
clearly what is going on. The more the surprise. the higher the eyebrows are raised.
Raising the eyebrows asks for attention from others and can signal
general emphasis. When as question is asked and the eyebrows are raised
afterwards, this is a clear invitation to answer the question.
Opposite to the dominant lowering of eyebrows, raising eyebrows is
may be a submissive move or indicate openness, as it lets the other person see
your eyes ('I am not looking where I should not!'). Dominance and attractive
signals can often be similar and raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal
of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').
Raising a single eyebrow is something that only some people can do
and can be a bit more wry in its meaning, for example asking 'Are you sure?'
when the other person appears to be talking with limited accuracy.
Middle-raised
By pushing together the eyebrows and pulling up the forehead, the
eyebrows can be made to slope outwards. This can indicate relief ('Whew!'). It
can also indicate anxiety ('Oh no!').
Middle-lowered
When the middle of the eyebrows are pulled down so they slope
inwards, this often shows that the person is angry or frustrated. It can also
indicate intense concentration.
Oscillating
When we see people we know, we often give a quick up-down flash of
the eyebrows in recognition and greeting. This is a common signal across all
primates, including monkeys and gorillas.
Rapid and repeated up and down movement may be an exaggerated
signal, meaning 'Well how about that then!', in the way that Groucho Marx used
it.
Forehead body language
The forehead has its place in body language communications, often
as a part of a wider set of signals. It is near the eyes and can be looked at
without sending other signals (for example looking the mouth can say 'I want to
kiss you'), which can make even small movements with it reliably observed and
hence significant. Its main limitation is that it can only make a few
movements.
Wrinkling
Wrinkling the forehead is often connected with movement of the eyebrows,
particularly upwards, and hence acts as an amplifier of these signals. Raised
eyebrows (and wrinkled forehead) indicates surprise or questioning.
Sweating
We often sweat more from the forehead than other parts of the
body, making it significant in sending moisture-related signals.
Sweating can occur when we are hot, which can come from external
temperature, exercise and also inner energy and arousal.
A cold sweat can indicate extreme fear and may be accompanied by
damp eyes.
Touching
Wiping the forehead can be to remove sweat. It typically indicates
relief and can be a deliberate exaggeration. It can also indicate fear, even
when the person is not sweating.
Touching the forehead happens in the greeting of a salute. This is
effectively shading the eyes and says 'You are so wonderful I am dazzled by
your brilliance.'
Slowly rubbing the forehead can indicate deep thinking, as if the
person was massaging their brain to get it going.
Rubbing the temples either side can indicate stress as the person
tries to massage away the actual or implicit headache.
The forehead may also be touched as a part of a propping up the
head, typically with the thumb touching the side of the face.
Tapping the forehead with an open palm or light fist says 'Gosh,
how stupid I am!'
Hair body language
The hair is a part of the body and hence is used in various ways
for communication.
Appearance
Hair can be cut and shaped into a wide range of styles which
contributes to the overall image and hence sends non-verbal signals.
A conventional and tidy cut indicates a conventional person who
follows basic social rules.
Well-styled hair can indicate a desire to be attractive and so get
the approval and admiration of others.
Men
Conventionally, men usually have a very limited social style, with
hair cut reasonably short.
Very short hair may signal aggression, perhaps echoing army crew
cuts. It has also been used by 'skinheads' and is popular with club bouncers
and other 'heavies'.
Long male hair is typical of young 'drop-outs' (or those who would
like to, but cannot afford it :). When unkempt it can show a lack of care and
perhaps lower self-esteem. Longer hair can also be a sign of rebellion and
assertion of identity.
Women
Women are socially permitted to wear a much wider range of styles,
probably to attract men (and compete with other women in this).
Long hair frames the face and may partially cover it, teasing
about the beauty behind this curtain. Particularly when covering the eyes, long
hair over the face provides a barrier behind which the woman can hide, perhaps
when she has lower confidence or self-esteem.
When women cut their hair short, it can indicate a desire to be
male, like a man or perhaps to be unattractive to men. It may also be a
rebellion against womanhood, for example when they have been mistreated by
other women when they were young.
Tossing
Tossing the head throws the hair backwards (actually or
virtually), drawing attention to it. It can thus be a romantic gesture ('Hey,
guys, wouldn't you like to stroke my gorgeous long, blonde hair!').
Throwing long hair back also exposes the face, which may be an
invitation, opening the doors to communication. It can also be an aggressive act
as the person now gives you more unwanted attention.
Touching
Stroking the hair is a preening gesture, which can be deliberate
checking that it is perfectly coiffed or an invitation to stroke also.
Playing with the hair is particularly flirtatious and invites the
other person to do this for you.
Emotional Body Language
With careful observation, emotions may be detected from non-verbal
signs. Remember that these are indicators and not certain guarantees.
Contextual clues may also be used, in particular what is being said to the
person or what else is happening around then.
Anger
- Neck
and/or face is red or flushed.
- Baring
of teeth and snarling.
- Clenched
fists.
- Leaning
forward and invasion of body
space.
- Other aggressive
body language.
- Use
of power
body language.
Fear, anxiety
and nervousness
Fear occurs when basic needs are threatened. There are many levels of
fear, from mild anxiety to blind terror. The many bodily changes caused by fear
make it easy to detect.
- A
'cold sweat'.
- Pale
face.
- Dry
mouth, which may be indicated by licking lips, drinking water, rubbing
throat.
- Not
looking at the other person.
- Damp
eyes.
- Trembling
lip.
- Varying
speech tone.
- Speech
errors.
- Voice
tremors.
- Visible
high pulse (noticeable on the neck or movement of crossed leg.
- Sweating.
- Tension
in muscles: clenched hands or arms, elbows drawn in to the side, jerky
movements, legs wrapped around things.
- Gasping
and holding breath.
- Fidgeting.
- Defensive
body language, including crossed arms and legs and generally drawing in of
limbs.
- Ready
body language (for fight-or-flight)
- Other symptoms of stress
Sadness
Sadness is the
opposite of happiness and indicates a depressive state.
- Drooping
of the body.
- Trembling
lip.
- Flat
speech tone.
- Tears.
Embarrassment
Embarrassment may be caused by guilt or transgression of values.
- Neck
and/ or face is red or flushed.
- Looking
down or away from others. Not looking them in the eye.
- Grimacing,
false smile, changing the topic or otherwise trying to cover up the
embarrassment.
Surprise
Surprise occurs when things occur that were not expected.
- Raised
eyebrows.
- Widening
of eyes.
- Open
mouth.
- Sudden
backward movement.
Happiness
Happiness occurs
when goals and needs are met.
- General
relaxation of muscles.
- Smiling
(including eyes).
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