Body Control

What real control do you have over your body? Can you make it do what you want, expressing emotion as you will? Probably not. There is, however, a way of doing this.

Involuntary motion

There are about 640 skeletal movement muscles in the human body, as well as 200 or so other internal muscles for movement within organs. There are around 50 muscles in the face, many of which have a particular role in expressing emotion (for example it takes over 20 muscles just to smile).

The complex job of managing and coordinating all the muscles is done by the unconscious mind, directed either through the intent of the conscious mind (such as for walking or talking) or from other unconscious motivations, such as the expression of emotion or tics.

Emotional communication

Importantly, we use muscles to communicate. Animals, who do have language, do this, such as when a dog wags its tail or rolls over to show that it is not a threat. In the 95% common mammal genes, we have inherited this physical form of communication, particularly of emotions.

In common with many animals, we watch others to read their body signals and understand what this tell us of how they are feeling and thinking. Given our animal past, this may be done at a subconscious, non-language level, for example where just looking at a person makes us feel relaxed or fearful without us knowing why.

Charles Darwin noted the importance of muscles in emotion:

When movements, associated through habit with certain states of the mind, are partially repressed by the will, the strictly involuntary muscles, as well as those which are least under the separate control of the will, are liable still to act; and their action is often highly expressive.
...
A man when moderately angry, or even when enraged, may command the movements of his body, but . . . those muscles of the face which are least obedient to the will, will sometimes alone betray a slight and passing emotion. 
-- Charles Darwin, The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals.

In other words, you cannot help but show what you feel through your body shape and movement.

Deceptive control

We are sometimes known as the mendacious ape as evolution has taught us that deception can be very useful, at least for short-term gains. We hence seek to use deceptive body language to express emotions that we want others to perceive. We smile to make them think we are friendly. We frown or stare at them to indicate displeasure.

When we speak deceptively, we try hard to show we are not lying, for example by holding our bodies still to suppress the signals of guilt or fear of discovery.

Darwin noted of expressive movements:

They reveal the thoughts and intentions of others more truly than do words, which may be falsified.

A problem with this is that it is difficult to consciously control 650 muscles and so we may 'leak' emotions, such as crossing our legs when we are carefully holding our hands at our sides. Facial muscles are particularly difficult to control and are highly visible. Tension in vocal muscles is also out of conscious control.

Darwin also noted in his Inhibition Hypothesis that if you cannot voluntarily activate a muscle, then you will not be able to voluntarily inhibit its involuntary activation in a spontaneous emotional expression.

Where we do not or cannot pay attention, then our true feelings may be exposed. A common example is the lower body. People trying to control their body language commonly hold their arms and head carefully but often forget what their legs and feet are doing.

When different muscle groups display different emotions, we send mixed messages that lead either to confusion or, more likely, suspicion. When I see you smiling but also fidgeting, I wonder if there is something else on your mind.

Effective control

The best way to change body language is not to hang onto every muscle, trying to be a puppeteer of your own body. As described above, this is virtually impossible to do and makes you look deceptive.

The best approach is to notice your own body language and change your body by changing what and how you are thinking. If you can really believewhat you are saying, then your body will naturally align with your speech. If you like the other person, then your body will automatically assume a friendly stance.

This is easier said than done, and some people are better at it than others. In effect, they hypnotize themselves, changing what they feel at will.

Two professions in particular attract those who have natural ability in this area. Actors are trained to 'get into character', thinking and feeling as the person they are portraying. The consummate actor is a blank canvas onto which requisite personalities may be projected.

The other group which tends to be good at this form of self-hypnosis is sales people, who believe their products are clearly superior and for which they develop a deep passion. When we buy, we often buy the sales person as much as the product, so good sales people really do like other people and comfortably engage in subtly persuasive conversation.

Actors and sales people practice a lot. You can do this too. If you have a presentation to do, then do it physically. Set up a video camera and play it back, watching your body language. Then change how you think and keep repeating until you both sound and look great.

To improve your own ability to express emotions well, attention to Emotional Intelligence can help. This includes being able to read and manage your own emotions. If you can do this well, you can then 'infect' others to change what they feel too.

Extreme emotions are highly visible and send strong signals that you may later regret. At the very least, if you can curb the depth of feeling in strong emotion then you will have a better chance at least of not putting off other people.

Social Distance

We like to keep our distance from others and there are very specific social rules about how close we can go to others in particular situations.

This social distance is also known as body space and comfort zone and the use of this space is called proxemics.

Why the distance?

Regulating the distances between us and other people provides us with several benefits, including:

• Safety: When people are distant, they can't surprise attack us.
• Communication: When people are closer, it is easier to communicate with them.
• Affection: When they are closer still, we can be intimate.
• Threat: The reverse can be used - you may deliberately threaten a person by invading their body space.

Social distances

The social distances here are approximate, of course and will vary with people. But they are still a good general rule. Hall (1966) identified four zones that are common for Americans:

Public Zone : > 12 feet (3m)

The public zone is generally over 12 feet. That is, when we are walking around town, we will try to keep at least 12 feet between us and other people. For example, we will leave that space between us and the people walking in front.

Of course there are many times when we cannot do this. What the theory of social distance tells us is that we will start to notice other people who are within this radius. The closer they get, the more we become aware and ready ourselves for appropriate action.

When we are distant from another person, we feel a degree of safety from them. A person at a distance cannot attack us suddenly. If they do seem to threaten, we will have time to dodge, run or prepare for battle.

Social Zone : 4 - 12 feet (1.5m - 3m)

Within the social zone, we start to feel a connection with other people. When they are closer, then we can talk with them without having to shout, but still keep them at a safe distance.

This is a comfortable distance for people who are standing in a group but maybe not talking directly with one another. People sitting in chairs or gathered in a room will tend to like this distance.

Personal Zone : 1.5-4 feet (0.5m - 1.5m)

In the personal zone, the conversation gets more direct, and this is a good distance for two people who are talking in earnest about something.

Intimate Zone < 1.5 feet (< 0.5m)

When a person is within arms reach or closer, then we can touch them in intimate ways. We can also see more detail of their body language and look them in they eyes. When they are closer, they also blot out other people so all we can see is them (and vice versa). Romance of all kinds happens in this space.

Entering the intimate zone of somebody else can be very threatening. This is sometimes done as a deliberate ploy to give a non-verbal signal that they are powerful enough to invade your territory at will.

Varying rules

The rules about social distance vary with different groups of people. You can detect this by watching people's reactions. If you feel safe and they seem not to feel safe, back off. If they invade your space, decide whether to invade back or act otherwise. Turning sideways is an easy alternative for this, as a person to the side is less threatening than a person at the same distance in front of you.

Town and country

People who live in towns spend more time close to one another and so their social distances may compact somewhat. In a large and crowded city, the distances will be less than in a small town.

People who normally live a long way from others will expand their social distances and may even have to lean over towards another person to shake hands and then back off to a safe distance.

Different countries

Different countries also have different rules about social distances. The overcrowded nature of some Asian countries means that they are accustomed to talking to others from a very close distance.

Watch a Japanese person talking at a party with a person from the Western countryside. The Japanese will step in and the Westerner will step back. Speeded up it is like a dance around the room.

Micro-expressions

Micro-expressions are fleeting facial expressions that betray underlying emotions that the person may be trying to suppress.

They mostly happen around the eyes and mouth, and are very brief, typically lasting only between 1/25 and 1/15 of a second.

While micro-expressions are often facial, they can also appear in the body, for example in small movements of the hand and twitches of the legs.

Detecting micro-expressions

Micro-expressions happen quickly, but they can be detected. Once you know that they happen and are concerned that somebody may be lying, just watch carefully for them. This is not that easy as they are very brief. You may miss several, but if you can ask a pointed question and then watch carefully, the micro-expression may be seen.

Videoing the person can help for later analysis, although of course this is not always possible. Another way is to have another person involved who watches more carefully while you ask questions and manage the conversation.

Also notice your own gut reactions to people. If they make you feel uncomfortable then perhaps you are unconsciously noticing the micro-expressions. When this happens, ask them questions about which they will probably lie and watch their face intently for quick 'twitches'.

An easy way of practicing identification of micro-expressions is to watch television or YouTube videos of live interviews. Politicians are always interesting as they are often motivated not to tell the whole truth. Reality and game shows also invoke strong emotions and are useful learning material.

Particular signs of emotions may be indicated as in the table below. These are usually quick and attenuated forms of the normal expression of the emotion.

Emotion	Micro-expression
Happiness	Corners of lips turned up. Slightly raised cheeks. Crows feet at side of eyes.
Sadness	Corners of lipss turned down. Eyebrows slanted out, pulled together and raised in middle of forehead.
Anger	Lips pressed together. Corners of lips flat or turned down. Eyebrows slanted in, lowered in middle of forehead. Widened eyes (brief stare).
Fear	Widened mouth, slightly open. Wider eyes with raised eyebrows.
Contempt	One side of lips raised. Head slightly back.
Disgust	Raised upper lip. Wrinkled nose.
Surprise	Opened mouth. Raised eyebrows. Widened eyes.

Discussion

Initially discovered by Haggard, and Isaacs (1966), micro-expressions have been further explored and communicated by Paul Ekman, the eminent psychologist who specializes in facial expression of emotions.

He noted that micro-expression are...

...so brief that they are barely perceptible to the untrained observer. Micro displays may be fragments of a squelched, neutralized or masked display. Micro displays may also show the full muscular movements associated with macro affect display, but may be greatly reduced in time.

  -- Ekman and Friesen (1969)

They found that by slowing down videos of people talking deceptively, that a very short flash of another emotion would appear, such as a momentary downturn of the corners of the mouth that indicate unconscious self-disgust at lying.

Smiling

When you smile in a genuine way, it happens using the unconscious brain where emotions are controlled - you are genuinely happy in some way.

The physiology of the smile

There are various parts of the face that change when someone smiles:

• The mouth stretches and may well show teeth.
• The muscles that move the cheeks contract, making the eyes crease up and eyebrows dip slightly.
• Lines appear around the eyes.
• The eye cover fold (the bit between the eyebrow and the eyelid) moves downward.
• The end of the eyebrows dip very slightly

The genuine smile

The genuine smile, also known as Duchenne smile indicates real happiness or amusement. In particular it is different from the false smile in the use of the cheeks and the muscles above the eyes (the orbicularis oculi). Eyelids may fold more and the outer ends of the eyebrows may dip.

It is not the entire orbicularis oculi, actually, that is involved, only the outer portion, the orbicularis oculi, pars lateralis.

A genuine smile tends to last for 0.5 to 4 seconds (so believe a quick smile over a longer one). It may be asymmetric and larger on the right side of the face. It may also cover the whole face and so make asymmetry less obvious. Happy expressions tend to be more symmetrical than sad expressions.

Genuine smiles are smooth and natural, quickly or steadily spreading and then gradually fading after the initial maximum stretch.

In the brain, the genuine smile is associated with left frontal EEG activation, which is also associated with positive emotions.

False smiles

False smiles can be remarkably difficult to detect, especially when done by a 'pro'. Yet they are distinctly different.

Watch for excessive symmetry and missing lines around the eyes as the orbicularis oculi are not used, although these can sometimes be forced with strong muscle movement.

Watch for the eye cover fold: it is very difficult to control this. Also the ends of the eyebrows dipping is difficult to fake.

False smilers may lower the jaw to create a D-shaped open-mouthed smile. This is easier to do and pulls attention away from the eyes.

The false smile tends to appear suddenly and disappear suddenly, making it seem less natural. It may be held for too long (more than four seconds).

False smiles may be lop-sided but can also be symmetrical due to the greater cognitive effort involved. When we are paying attention to our muscles, we try to ensure they are all working in the right way.

A false smile does not necessarily mean malevolent deception as people often use false smiles simply to be polite. False smiling is also used to placate other people who may be a threat to us.

Duchenne himself said:

You cannot always exaggerate the significance of this kind of smile, which often is only a simple smile of politeness, just as it can cover a treason. … We politely smile with our lips at the same time as being malcontented or when the soul is sad.

Touching

Touching is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication and needs to be managed with care.

Ritual

Touching is a common part of many rituals, in which the action often has a long-forgotten symbolic meaning.

Rituals are highly culture-dependent, which means touching in some cultures is normal whilst in others there is far less touching.

Greeting and departure

By far the most common touching ritual is greeting and departure, although the actual form of the ritual changes across countries. This may include shaking hands, hugging, kissing, rubbing noses and other touching.

When hold out your hand, you show that are not holding a weapon. When you allow others to touch you, you are indicating a level of trust.

Approval

Rituals may be used to show approval and delight, where touching is a form of reward or deligh bonding.

More formally, these include shaking hands or patting. Children may be patted on the head, others may be patted on the back. Less formally, approval may be shown with hugs and body-grabbing.

Dominance

Men on men

Men have a particular concern about status, in particular relative to one another. This is a primitive tribal game and is played out every day around the world.

When one man touches another, even if it appears that it is related to sympathy, then there is a game of status and power being played out.

Shaking hands

Shaking hands, although basically a ritual, may also contain significant acts of domination.

The 'power grip' grabs the other person's hand firmly and shakes vigorously. The 'vice grip' does this to extreme, intending to demonstrate strength by causing pain.

The 'hand on top' method offers the palm down, using the principle that being above the other person in any way symbolizes superiority. This is often combined with an elbow grab.

There is also domination in the duration of the shake. If you do not let go within the prescribed period, then you are taking control. Even for a second, this can send subtle power signals.

Back and arm touching

Patting on the back and touching the arm may be an act of sympathy and friendship. It can also be an act of dominance. Again, between men and particularly in situations of power, this is a signal of who is in charge.

Countering dominance

The simplest way of countering dominant touching is to do it back to the other person. This can be very surprising for them, especially if you seem not to be subdued and even may be smiling at their surprise.

If they pat you on the back or arm, you can do it to them with the other hand, put you hand on top or slide your arm underneath and pat their side (if they are on top, this shows that you have got beneath their guard). You can even turn the whole thing into a hug.

Sympathy

Touching is often used as a form of demonstrating sympathy, particularly between women. Men also may use it, but it is easily confused with acts of power (it may also be mistaken for homosexual acts of intimacy).

Distant sympathy

Showing sympathy when you are not very close to the other person typically is done with more distant and brief touching of the back, shoulder or arm.

Even a short touch can be very comforting and is effective when you fear that they may misunderstand the touch as dominance or intimacy.

Close sympathy

Closer forms of sympathetic touching are closer to intimate actions, such as putting your arm around the other person or hugging them as they cry or touching the arm for more prolonged periods.

This is more common amongst women, partners or very close friends.

Intimacy

Friends

Friends tend to greet each other with more intimate touching, such a hugging or even kissing (although this may vary with culture).

Friendship touching will also vary with the intensity and type of friendship. Some people you just touch more and some do not like it. In a group of friends, one tactile person may convert the whole group to a more touchy culture.

Families

Families touch one another more, in particular parents and children, where as well as sympathetic touching there may be guidance and others forms of touch.

As with friends (and lovers), families touch each other more partly because they trust one another and also to sustain bonding and trust.

Gender differences

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the most powerful connection is when a woman touches a man. Women touching women may also have a reasonable effect.

Man-on-man touching is least likely to have a positive effect and can be negative, due to homophobic fears or power games, as described above.

Lovers

Partners and lovers touch each other a great deal. Intimacy does not have to be all sexual and is often just because it feels good. This may include holding hands, arms around each other, necking, nuzzling and kissing.

In early romance, a light touch or brush may be a signal that the person would like to get closer and touch more intimately. Touching hands hence becomes holding hands, holding bodies and so on.

And of course there is also sexual touching, done with the deliberate intent of arousal and gratification.

Bonding

Gueguen and Fischer-Lokou (2003) showed how touching another person during a conversation influenced the other person very strongly. After touching a stranger when asking directions, turning away and 'dropping' some diskettes, the touched subject would stoop to help pick them up 90% of the time, as opposed to 63% of the time when they were not touched.

Other research findings include:

• Library users touched while registering, rate the library and its personnel higher.
• Restaurant diners are more satisfied and give larger tips when waiting staff casually touch them.
• People who are touched by a stranger are more willing to comply with a simple request.
• Women touched on the arm by a man are more willing to share their phone number or agree to a dance.

(Schirmer et al., 2011) found that even touch by a machine increased empathy, showing that this is a very basic process, that happens without mental processing.

Touch creates a bonding effect and this experiment shows how powerful this is in turning a stranger to offer proactive support. Of course asking them for directions also had an effect, but the increase is significantly more with just a light touch. This bonding effect is clearly significant for other sections above and constitutes a significant method for influencing others.

This bonding effect from a simple touch has been shown to have multiple benefits, including a greater likelihood of:

• Honesty: Telling you the truth.
• Integrity: Returning things to you.
• Help: Responding to requests for help.
• Buying: Agreeing to buy from you.
• Romance: Agreeing to a date.
• Listening: Paying more attention to you.
• Empathy: Understanding how you feel.

Amplification

The extent, strength and repetition of a touch can have an amplifying effect on the other person's decision.

Simply touching a person twice can have a greater effect than touching them once. Vaidis and Halimi-Falkowicz (2008) asked people on the street to complete a questionnaire. Those who were touched twice were more likely to agree.

Of course there are also limits: touching a person too often or too firmly or in the wrong place may be considered an invasion and result in reactive rejection.

Hugging

Hugging is a common interaction between people where bodies are brought into close contact with one another.

Reasons to hug

Hugging is used for a number of reasons. And sometimes for no apparent reason (although there is almost always an underlying purpose).

Greeting

Hugging as a form of greeting is usually highly ritualized, with prescribed action and timings. These vary significantly with culture and can include variations such as:

• Initial throwing hands wide, with eye contact and friendly facial expressions that signal the impending hug.
• One- or two-handed hug.
• Back-slapping or rubbing (typically two or three times).
• Squeezing and lifting as expressions of delight.
• Words of greeting spoken at the same time.
• Cheek kissing or touching (one, two or three times, on alternating sides).
• Holding, patting and eye contact whilst disengaging.

Hugs may be used both in meeting and leaving, with different rules for how each is executed.

Comforting

Hugs are sometimes given to comfort a distressed other person, such as when a parent hugs a crying child or when a friend hugs another who is upset over a social matter.

Comfort hugs are often longer and may continue until the other person has calmed down. The signal for disengagement may well come from the other person, typically by loosening their grip or pulling slightly away.

Bonding

Hugs may be used to develop trust and create an emotional and identity-forming bond with the other person. In coming close together you effectively 'become one', joining identities for a few moments.

Affection

Hugging is often used between friends (who by definition already have a stable bond). Touching signals trust and reaffirms the bond. If you can hug a person without worrying about whether they will mind and without conscious concern as to whether this will upset them, you are likely to be showing affection.

Like greeting hugs, affection hugs are often done in a prescribed format, with a single quick squeeze and a cheek press.

Some people, often women, use affectionate hugs quite frequently. A sad fact is that spontaneous hugging seems to be in the decline in societies where fears of abuse and litigation override the simple pleasures of an affectionate hug.

Romance

Hugging is a key part of any romantic relationship and a first hug, often given as a sign of simple affection, is a step away from a first kiss, which significantly deepens the romance.

Hugging in romantic relationships is often far more frequent and of much longer duration than affection hugs. The hug is more likely to involve full-body touching and may, in the appropriate setting, lead to further actions such as kissing, caressing and so on.

Hand positioning on the back is an important romantic signal. The lower the hand, the greater the romantic intent. A longer duration of hug also indicates greater passion.

Possession

When a man puts his arm around his female partner when there are other people about, it may be a signal to others that 'she is mine -- hands off'. This may be partly protective and can have elements of jealous guarding his 'property'. A woman may also put her arms around her man when other women might seek his company.

Protection

When out in the street, a man may put his arm around his partner as a signal to her and to others that he is giving her shelter and will be prepared to fight for her safety.

Domination

A hug may also be used as an act of domination. Invading body space and taking charge of the other person's body can easily be an overt act of power, showing how the hugger does not have to ask permission and can invade at will.

This can cause confusion where it is not necessarily clear whether the hug is an act of affection or domination. Typically other signs and relationship details will help clarify this question.

The domination hug may well be quickly initiated, giving the 'victim' less time to escape. It is also likely to include a stronger squeeze, indicating the power of the hugger. The disengagement may also be slower as the hugger hangs on, maybe even just to an arm, to show they are in control right to the very end.

The process of hugging

Hugging, although a simple act, has a distinct set of steps.

Approach

As people approach, one person or both people indicate the impending hug, typically with one or two arms thrown wide. Eye contact is established and the face will show smiling and pleasure.

There may be a pause as the hugger waits for a reciprocal signal that indicates that the hug will be accepted. The two people then approach (one or both moving forward) towards the embrace.

There may be other pre-cursors to the embrace, such as hand-clasping and arm grabbing. The approach may also be very brief with one person rushing in and grabbing the other.

Embrace

The embrace, the main part of the hug, may be one-or two-armed. It may be from the front, the side or at a slight angle. The extent of the body touching may vary from the polite head touch (leaning forward for this) to the full-body hug.

The embrace typically lasts only a second or two and, to be successful, should lead to feelings of comfort and happiness. Distress will happen only in such circumstances as misunderstanding and domination.

Interaction

Within and around the embrace there may be a variety of other actions and interactions, such as back-slapping, back-rubbing, arm-squeezing, hand-holding, cheek-touching, cheek-kissing, head-holding, spoken words and so on.

Disengaging

A point comes when the huggers have to let go and back off. This may be determined by ritual timing, which can be amazingly well understood to the point where it is not clear who initiates the disengagement. At other times, one person starts to pull away, the other senses this and releases their clasp.

Hanging on for longer can happen in various circumstances. Often, the second person will hold for a moment or two longer to signal 'I really do like you'. Sometimes they will cling, unwilling to lose the intensity of the comfort or affection. This can be embarrassing and the releaser will often condescend to hug for longer, although they may also simply push away harder. An extended cling may also be a power move, asserting that the second person is in charge and will release when they are good and ready.

Disengagement often has additional interactions that signify a ritual unwillingness to relinquish the closeness, for example by short grips of the arm, stroking rather than just letting go, finger-tip clasps and facial expressions of further affection.

Types of hug

There are many types of hug that are used. Here is a list of many of these.

Name	Description	Meaning
A-frame hug (or triangle or teepee hug)	Leaning forward a long way, touching at top (forming triangle shape). Quick hug and push away. Little or no eye contact.	Formal greeting, often uncomfortable for both people.
Air hug	Open arms slightly to indicate beginnings of hug. Maybe hug oneself. One or both people may do this.	Greeting at a distance where real hug is difficult or could be embarrassing.
Bear hug	Full body touch, tight clasp. Possibly with growly noises or belly laughter. One person often stronger.	Strong and open affection from extraverted character. Risk of discomfort. Can be an act of domination.
Back pat	Brief hug, often upper-body only, with patting of shoulders or back. Possibly no eye contact.	Back pats are friendly but may be indicator of limited affection. In a longer hug, a back pat signals a desire to end the hug. No eye contact says 'I'm being polite but don't really care.'
Back rub	Longer and close than back pat, with rubbing of the back either up and down or in a circular movement two or three times.	More familiar and affectionate than back patting. Rubbing is closer to caressing and emulates a parent rubbing a baby to 'burp' them. When not done immediately may be a request to end hug.
Body hug	Standard hug, with both people vertical and most of the body touching. Warm embrace, not for too long. Smooth and uninterrupted disengagement.	Standard greeting of friends. Shows relaxation and comfort with the other person. May be many variations on this.
Bomb	The hugger runs up to the other person and leaps wildly onto them, possibly bearing them to the ground. There may well be multiple huggers for one person hugged.	Often congratulatory or celebratory, as when a sports team member scores points.
Butt grab	Full body hug with hands grabbing the other person's bottom, squeezing it or pulling them in. Kissing may also be involved. Hands may go straight to the bottom or may slide down to it from back.	Romantic, with strong sexual overtones. May be unwanted act of domination.
Cheek touch	Leaning forward, very light shoulder clasp, touch cheeks, possibly with kissing noise.	Polite greeting, respecting the other person's body and space.
Clinger	One person holds on for too long. The other tries to pull away but often ends up having to give in and return the longer hug.	Need for extended comfort. May be signal of desire for closer romance. May also be act of dominance.
Comforter	Hugger holding tight or maybe just gently. Hugged person may well be holding tightly. Comforted person rests head on shoulder or breast. Comforting person leans head on head of other person, patting or stroking them.	Administering of comfort to distressed other person. May be between friends, partners or parent-child.
Crusher	Overly tight bear hug. Often held for slightly more than normal hug.	May be accidental 'don't know my strength' but likely dominant show of power.
Cuddle	Full-body with heads touching and firm clasp. May include caressing and comforting words or 'mmm' sounds. Longer duration.	Very similar to the comforter hug and often with this purpose, although may also be romantic or of benefit to both people.
Dancefloor hold	On the dancefloor, one person puts arms around the other's neck, who puts arms around the waist. They move slowly in time to the music. Often the woman puts arms around the neck and may rest her head on the man's chest or shoulder.	Simulation of intimate embrace, even if it is 'just dancing'. May be a precursor to more romantic events later.
Entwining	Usually lying or sitting down, the whole bodies including legs are entangled together.	Highly sexual. Making two bodies 'as one'. May be used before, during and after intercourse.
Family hug	Long and firm embrace. Often between parents (or grandparents) and children (even when they are adult). Heads touching.	Display of family affection. May be for comfort, greeting or on departure.
Forced kiss	One person tries to kiss (and maybe succeeds) whilst the other pulls away or only allows a quick peck.	Poorly-judged attempt at romance or otherwise dislike of kiss by other person.
Full-on kiss	Mutual and extended lip kiss.	Successful romantic move (by both).
Group hug	People stand in circle with arms around the backs of persons either side. Heads often down and touching in the middle of the circle.	Celebration by group of people. May be ritual confirmation of togetherness.
Hand hug	Looks like shaking hands but other person's hand is grasped with two hands rather than one. Often used by politicians.	May well say 'I would like to hug you but I am too polite.' Person with hand on top may be signalling dominance.
Head envelope	The other person's head is enveloped by the arms and pulled into chest. Hugger may well be taller.	Protective and comforting. May be a a part of the comforter hug.
Lap hug	A lateral twister that leads to one person lying in the lap of the other.	Romantic. Classic sofa action.
Lateral one-arm hug	People standing or sitting side-by-side. One person puts one arm around the others and gives them a quick hug.	Quick and safe sign of approval or affection. If extended may be a comforter.  Romantic if in setting such as movie seats.
Lateral twister	People standing or sitting side-by-side twist towards one another and do as best a frontal body hug as possible.	Hugging when constrained by seats. Maybe when lateral one-arm hug leads to more.
Leap and lift	One person (usually the woman) leaps into the air towards the other person and clings onto them, possibly wrapping legs around them. Other person lifts them up, possibly stepping back to absorb the impact. May continue into spin hug.	Excited and open greeting, with significant trust and affection.
Leg wrap	During close hug, one leg is wrapped around the back of the other person's legs. Typically done during long hug with caressing and kissing.	Indication of desired and actual intimacy.
Look at you	Head of other person held between two hands for short eye contact and possibly a few words. May be done before or after (or even without) body hug.	Eye contact creates closer contact and words may be significant. Can be light admonishment of a child before a forgiving hug.
Lover hug	Slow approach with touching, sliding into embrace with extended stroking and caressing.	Romantic and caring. Who knows where it may end up?
Man hug	Quick grab, touching upper body only. Patting back a couple of times. Often avoiding eye contact. Quick release and step back with brief smile. Similar in some ways to shoulder touch.	Greeting between straight male friends. Friendship but clearly nothing romantic.
Neck grab	One person throws arms around the neck of the other person and pulls them in, with heads touching closely.	Often a sign of affection. May also be seeking comfort. Can be dominant.
Open man hug	Fuller body than standard man hug, with more extended hugging. Maybe with cheek hug and head-on-shoulder.	Direct affection. May be gay or just liberated.
Pity pat hug	In a romantic situation, one person pats the other quickly a couple of times on the upper back.	This signals 'I don't want any romance.' A higher pat shows less interest and quick pats indicate a desire to disengage.
Reverse hug	One person approaches the other from behind and puts arms around waist with full-body touch and possibly leans head on shoulder. Hugged person puts hands over hugging hands and possibly leans back with head against huggers head.	Relaxed affection between trusting partners.
Rocker	Standard body hug with rocking from side to side, often with smiling and laughter.	Expression of fun-loving personality. Similar to twister hug.
Sandwich hug	One person is hugged by and between two others. The huggers' arms may reach around one another. Typically parents hugging a child.	Show of affection, comfort or celebration.
Self hug	Wrapping arms around one's own body. Maybe top arm clasping other arm. Possibly some twisting or rocking.	Self-comforting. May signal 'I would like to hug you' or 'I want you to hug me'.
Shoulder drape	One arm casually over shoulder of adjacent person. That person may have arm around hugger's back or waist (especially if the other person is shorter). Long duration.	Not so much a hug as an expression of closeness (and possibly jealous possession).
Shoulder grab	Approach as if to hug but only get as far as grabbing shoulders. Likely to have continued eye contact and arm patting.	Often used by men who see hugging as too familiar. May be tactic by one person to prevent a full hug.
Shoulder touch	Hands clasped in handshake followed by pull together, hands still holding and brief touching of shoulders or chests. May be accompanied by 'ayyy' sounds.	Very often done by men as 'safe' and not-too-intimate greeting.
Spin hug	One person (usually the man) puts arm under the other person arms, lifts them and spins them around.	Open affection. Shows closeness and trust. May indicate possession.
Spoon hug	When lying down with other person (typically in bed) and they are facing the other way, pressing part of all of body behind them (like two spoons fitting together) and put one arm around them.	Like a horizontal reverse hug. Often sustained and may occur as unconscious connection during sleep.
Twister	Body hug with oscillating rotation about a vertical axis.	Similar to the rocker hug. Shows stronger affection.
Unequal height hug	The shorter person puts arms around the waist and possibly rests head on chest. The taller person wraps arms around upper body and maybe rests head on shorter person's head.	Typically taller man and shorter woman in romantic embrace.
Upper-body hug	Similar to body hug but only touching in the upper body. May be quite quick.	Avoiding touching genitalia. Often between man-woman with no romantic connection or between two men.

Hugging is a very human thing with many variations. The above table is only an indicator and there may be different meanings and styles to the hugs.

Hugging can be between people of various sexual preferences and with various intents. The article above generally considers heterosexual men and women. The principles described can of course also apply to homosexual and other preferential contexts.