Body language - Neck

The is used to support and rotate the head and hence controls some head body language. It also may send a few signals of its own.

Hiding

The neck a classic position where a predator attacks, either going for the jugular artery at the side or crushing or ripping out the windpipe.

When people feel threatened they will thus naturally act to protect the neck, pulling the chin down to protect the throat and possibly also raising the shoulders to protect the sides of the neck.

Embarrassment or fear can lead to increased swallowing. A hand on the throat may cover up the signs of swallowing as the person seeks to hide this signal.

Turning

The neck can be rotated, both horizontally and vertically, thus giving our head several degrees of freedom and the ability to look in many directions. The eyes can also look without turning the head. Rotating the neck is useful for extending the range of vision. It can also be used deliberately to send a signal that the person is giving or removing attention.

The neck can also become stiff from propping up the head and rotation of the neck may be done to exercise it. Exercising the neck can be a sign of tension. It may also indicate boredom.

Touching

Touching the front of the neck may indicate concern about what the person is saying (via their windpipe). This may because they are lying or otherwise are embarrassed or uncomfortable with what they are actually saying or are thinking of saying.

When a person is uncomfortable with what they are saying or where they are saying it, then their neck muscles may tense, affecting their voice through constriction of the windpipe or tensing of the vocal chords. This can cause discomfort in the neck and the hand thus acts to sooth this irritation.

When a person is uncomfortable they may sweat. If they are wearing a tight collar this will start to rub and irritate them. As a result they may pull at their collar.

The neck also contains the tubes going down to the stomach and touching the neck may show a concern about eating or drinking.

Another reason for touching the neck is when the person fears attack, as it reflects the desire to cover their windpipe.

There are also major muscles at the side and back of the neck and rubbing or squeezing these indicates tension, which may well be anxiety.

Suddenly grabbing the back of the neck can be a displacement activity for anger, as if the person raises their hand to strike then has to do something to restrain it. A neck-grab can also be a sign of shock or surprise as if the person is pulling their head back and grabbing it to suppress the reaction. This may be done as a deliberate exaggeration.

No neck

Having 'no neck' is often associated with people who have done so much weight training that their necks are almost as wide as their heads. The appearance, coupled with a muscled body, can be very threatening. If the person enjoys this effect on others, they may exaggerate it with arms held wide, fierce glares and other dominant body language.

Shoulder body language

The shoulders, although they have limited movement when compared with other parts of the body, can be used to convey various signals.

Raised

Holding the shoulders in a raised position requires that the whole weight of the arms are lifted. This takes continued effort, which is supplied if the person is aroused in some way.

Shoulders hunched up can be a sign that the person is cold (they may be shivering too). Often, this is a sign of tension, often from anxiety or fear.

Raising the shoulders and lowering the head protects the neck when the person fears attack (actual or virtual).

Curved forward

curving the shoulders forward happens naturally when arms are folded. When curled forward with the hands down this reduces the width of the body and can thus be a defensive posture or a subconscious desire not to be seen, for example when the person is feeling threatened or when they want to stay 'under cover'.

Pushed back

Pushing the shoulders back forces the chest out and exposes the torso to potential attack. This posture is thus used when the person does not fear attack and may be used as a taunt to demonstrate power.

If the body is pulled back when the shoulders are pulled back, particularly when the person is up against the wall, this can indicate a desire to hide the body and not be seen, or otherwise defensively move it out of harm's way.

Circling

Circling the shoulders may be done forwards or backwards, with one or both shoulders. This is often done to exercise a stiff shoulder, which may have been held tensely (and hence may indicate anxiety). This may also be accompanied by rotating or leaning of the neck and other muscle-exercising movements.

This exercising can signal that the person is readying themselves for action and perhaps combat, and hence may be used as a sign of aggression.

When done whilst the other person is talking and it would be polite to listen carefully, this deliberate breaking of protocol can be an insulting signal of power ('You are so unimportant I do not need to bother listening politely').

Shrug

The classic shrug, with one-off raising and lowering of shoulders usually means 'I don't know!' and may be accompanied with raised eyebrows, down-turned mouth, and hands held to the side, with palms upwards or forwards (showing nothing is being concealed).

Shoulders may not move much in a small or suppressed shrug. Sometimes all you may see is a slight raising of the arms.

A small and quick shrug may send the same signal but be performed subconsciously and thus can indicate uncertainty or lack of understanding.

Shrugging may be associated with lying where a person shrugs rather than speaks, in fear that their words may give themselves away.

A more prolonged and animated shrug can be similar to the circling shoulders that indicate readying for aggression and can thus signal a threat. In a smaller form it may indicate irritation or frustration.

Relaxed

We often carry tension in the shoulders and a person who is truly relaxed will have their shoulders held low, with arms that can move naturally, without jerkiness and swinging free.

Leaning

When the person leans against a wall, they often contact the wall with their shoulder. This is usually a relaxed pose as galvanizing into physical movement would take more than a little effort, which puts the person in a position vulnerable to attack.

Turning

Turning shoulders is a key part of turning away. If a person turns their shoulders whilst still looking at you, it probably means they want to leave (maybe because what you are saying is uncomfortable for them).

Chest body language

The chest can send a few non-verbal body language signals.

Thrust out

Pushing the chest forward draws attention to it, and can be a part of a provocative romantic display. Women, especially, know that men are programmed to be aroused by the sight of breasts. When women push forward their chests they may thus be inviting intimate relations (or just teasing). This is a function of high heels, which curves the spine to push out the chest and buttocks.

Men also thrust their chest out to display their strong pectorals (and perhaps hide their bulging gut). Enlarged pectorals are, along with biceps, the most common muscles that are used to assess overall strength.

A difference with men is that they do this both to women ('Look at me - I'm strong and will protect you and our babies') and also other men ('I am strong, so you'd better not get in my way').

Profiled

When the person stands sideways or at 45 degrees, the effect of a thrust-out chest is exaggerated as the person is seen in profile. Women may use this to display the curve of their breasts. Likewise, men may show their strong profiles.

Withdrawn

The chest cavity, although protected to some extent by the ribs, contains vital organs and thus is vulnerable in attack. When the chest is pulled back, this may well indicate that the person is trying to hide or appear inoffensive ('I am weak - please don't hurt me!'). Curling forward the shoulders may offer further protection.

Breathing

The chest expands and contracts with breath. When the person is breathing deeply, then the chest moves more.

Deep breath may be used to help thrust out the chest, as above. It also increases the oxygen intake and readies the person for action, thus indicating such as fear or anger. We also breath deeply when we are experiencing intense emotions such as love.

A person who is particularly anxious may breathe too fast and deep and so hyperventilate, taking in so much oxygen they get giddy (and can even faint).

When the body is held rigid, then breathing is more difficult and short breaths are more likely and may indicate tension.

When a person in a state of hopeful suspense they may hold their breath, as if breathing would either cause what is feared or destroy what is being enjoyed.

Touching

Touching the chest draws further attention to it. When a woman does this in front of a man it makes the man think of doing this and is thus a highly suggestive and flirtatious act.

Rubbing the chest can also be a sign of pain of discomfort, perhaps from tension and stress.

Back body language

The back, which includes the spine and the rear of the torso, does not send much non-verbal body language and is probably the 'least communicative' part of the body.

Rejection

The face is on the front of the body and so we present the front when talking to other people. If we do not want to talk to them, we can indicate our desire not to talk with them in several stages:

• Avert the gaze, not making eye contact.
• Turn the head.
• Twist the torso (feet not moving).
• Twist further (one foot rotates).
• Turn at an angle (both feet move).
• Turn around (so they can only see our back).

Each of these is an escalating signal, with complete 180 degree rotation as the maximum rejection. Even turning at a slight angle sends a clear message (giving the 'cold shoulder'). Turning fully around thus sends the loudest possible non-verbal signal 'I do not want to talk with you.'

Power

Turning around means you are potentially vulnerable to attack as you cannot see anyone behind you make a move on you. This can thus be a power move, usually between men, which says 'I do not have to look at you to decide if you are going to attack me because I am so powerful you do not dare.'

Protection

Whilst having the back facing someone makes you unable to defend yourself, if you are about to be hit with something the back provides perhaps the least sensitive area on the body. It is broad and well-muscled, with ribs around the organs.

When we face imminent impact we turn around, typically also putting our hands behind our head to protect it and crouching down to make ourselves a smaller target. This is a reflexive action for example when something is thrown at us or someone tries to his us with a stick.

Belly body language

The belly (tummy, abdomen, venter, gut, stomach, paunch) is, for this section, defined as the area between the bottom of the ribs and the top of the hips.

Pulling it in

In romantic and 'body beautiful' situations, a flat tummy is considered desirable in both men and women as it indicates fitness and health. In men, at least, the ultimate is a 'six pack' where individual muscles can be seen.

Most of us, particularly as we get older, fall victim to excessive consumption of food and drink, resulting in a convex belly. Fortunately, we do have muscles in our abdomen and we use these to pull in the belly walls so, for at least whilst we are walking past that desirable other person, we look good.

For the determined, corsets may be used to apply constant inwards pressure. Whilst not as popular as they once were, these may still be found in surreptitious use.

Pushing it out

Sticking out the tum does not indicate a desire to be attractive and can be a counter-reactive move. Particularly in groups of men, 'letting it all hang out' without feeling judged can be quite relieving and contribute to male bonding (along with loud discussions and lewd jokes).

The tummy may stick out more as a counterbalance when we want to pull our vulnerable upper body and head away in a situation where we feel uncomfortably close to another person.

Touching

The tummy area contains the stomach and the intestine, both of which are used to process food and which may be subject to assorted pains as we over-eat or consume substances that disagree with us. Rubbing the stomach can mean the person simply has a digestive problem.

The abdomen walls contain significant muscles and we can carry tension here. Rubbing or holding them can thus indicate tension, for example from excessive worry.

The gut is particularly vulnerable to attack and is a common area for punching and stabbing. If the gut is pierced, this can cause internal bleeding and a slow death. Holding hands across the tum can thus be a defensive act when we actually or literally fear attack.

Pregnancy

When women become pregnant, they have little opportunity but to let their ever-expanding abdomens push forward. This can be a point of pride, perhaps for feminism, perhaps as a signal of fertility or maybe just delight at impending motherhood.

Bottom body language

The bottom is a large padded area at the base of the back. It has many alternative names (bum, ass, fanny, etc.), indicating its significance.

Pushing out

The bottom has a strange combination of meaning. It houses the smelly anus and hence can symbolize unpleasantness. Yet it also can have a sexual significance and some people find it particularly attractive in a partner.

Pushing the bottom towards someone may thus be an insult or an invitation, depending on the situation. It can thus say 'kiss my ass' or 'fondle my fanny' and may thus need careful interpretation!

Exposing the bottom can range from a slight push towards the person or significant extension, such as from leaning on a table (to retain balance) or bending over, such that the upper body is hidden and the bottom is highly visible.

'Mooning' is a semi-serious insult and involves exposing the naked bottom. This is a bit degrading and is often done with a certain amount of humorous intent.

Moving

Waving the bottom draws attention to it even more than pushing it out, although this tends to be more enticing than insulting.

Wiggling the hips can cause loose muscle on the buttocks to oscillate even more. This is highly visible and is used by women to attract men. It is sometimes called 'shaking the booty' and is a common feature in dancing. Wiggling hips may also make the upper body move in compensation, making the move even more attractive.

Touching

With hands behind, the person is more vulnerable and cannot cover their front. This may thus either be a relaxed and comfortable position or else a defiant power display. Putting hands in rear pockets makes them slightly less difficult to retrieve in the event of an attack and hence suggests the person is even more relaxed.

Stroking the bottom often suggests that the person would like their bottom stroked and may thus be a suggestive invitation.

Placing the hands on the buttocks also exposes the chest and hence gives a combined suggestive signal.

The thigh may be slapped as a self-punishment or 'gee up' self motivation.

Hips body language

The hips are at the base of the body trunk and are made up of the pelvis and covering tissue.

Thrust out

The hips contain the primary sexual organs and thrusting them forward is a provocative and suggestive gesture. This may be exaggerated further if the legs are opened, exposing the genitals further and inviting intercourse.

Pushing the hips forwards is difficult without losing balance, so this is sometimes done by leaning back against something like a wall to support the upper body whilst the hips are clearly foremost.

Men may use the hip thrust with other men as a signal of power ('my penis is bigger than yours' or 'I am so powerful you dare not attack my exposed and vulnerable parts').

Held back

Holding the hips back is the opposite of thrusting them out. It defends and hides the genitals, seeking to protect them or avoid them being noticed.

One way of holding them back is to sit down, folding the body over them. This may be compounded by crossing legs and covering the genitals with crossed hands.

Pushed sideways

Pushing the hips sideways makes the spine curve and rearranges the whole body to compensate. This can be a relaxed position as the person lets the body drop. The sagging can also come from disappointment or tiredness.

The hips may be used as a subtle pointer, indicating what the person really wants. Pointing at a person it may indicate they are found to be attractive. Pointing at the door can mean the person wants to leave.

Moving

Swaying the hips from side to side is a common dance move and can indicate the person would like to dance. It also draws attention to that part of the body and hence can be a flirtatious action.

Moving the hips back and forth is a simulation of sexual intercourse and can be highly arousing.

Touching

Hands on hips pushes the elbows sideways, making the body look larger and thus may be a signal of power or aggression.

Stroking the hips in a romantic setting is suggesting that the other person may want to do this and is thus rather flirtatious, particularly if accompanied by swaying hips and prolonged eye contact.

Fingering genitals is extremely arousing and is only usually used as a direct invitation to intercourse.

Hands held over the genitals, covering them, is a sign of embarrassment or fear.

Holding hands with yourself is a comforting move for someone who is anxious. The natural position of rest for this is at hip level and thus may not be sexual in nature.

The male penis can become uncomfortable in his underpants and he may surreptitiously rearrange it. If he does this overtly, it may be a signal of power or a sexual signal.